365 days of drawing ~ day one hundred ninety-three ~ Trees and Tents with Violet

Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet.  Violet. 

Daughter.  Sister.  Loved.  Missed.  Not forgotten.  Remembered.

I remember the first time I saw Violet's name.  I remember reading her story.  I remember thinking, "Wow.  I can't imagine losing a child."  Then I realized I knew nothing about that, can't imagine.  As I read about Violet through her mothers blog Still Playing School I kept seeing the abundant love her family had for her and how they would not let her be forgotten.  I remember when I read Grief stops you in your tracks and the air was sucked out of the room.  I thought about my drawings.  I contacted Devany that night.  I knew I had to draw Violet.  And she asked me to give her a gift only an artist could give her.  A drawing of all THREE her children.  Absolutely.  Why didn't I think of that.   She posed the LeDrew crew with the blanket and I used an existing photo of Violet, melded the photos together and set to work with pencils in hand.

I asked Devany to share about Violet, in her words:

The thought of writing something that sums up our daughter Violet reminds me of how I marveled about her arrival before she was born. How do we fit a life time of love into the brief time she'll have with us? How do I condense into text all that I have to say about her, the journey of meeting her, her short but beautiful time with us, and all that has happened since she died?

I remember when I realized after Violet died that I could still mother her. I had been very frantic to "do it all" while she was still breathing but after she was gone I realized that I had been mothering her while I was still pregnant and I was mothering her still. I raise her siblings to remember her, I share her with the world, I create for her, and I write. It's not the way I imagined spending time with my second daughter but I welcome the opportunity to continue to be her mother for the rest of my life just like I was for the entirety of hers.

This is where amazing people like you come in. Friends who I had known for decades disappeared while people I hardly knew flocked to my side to witness this journey and all that evolves from it. They lift us up on the most heartbreaking days, the make us smile and cry with their memories and thoughts of her, and they remember her too. That is the greatest gift they can give.

I could write for the rest of my life about Violet (and I WILL) but I will never be able to convey in words what this drawing means to me. With tears in my eyes I can tell you this: You've given me something that I could never had otherwise. You've given me a picture of our three children together. You've also given me so much more. You've gifted us with the opportunity to watch the process of them come to life through your art. It is stunning to me that the drawing resonates with their laughter and sparkling eyes like a photograph never could. And you've given me your friendship. You've carried some of this burden of life long grief along beside me and you've placed Violet in your heart forever. Thank you for sharing her with me and the world.

"Mother of Three"

Thank you Devany for allowing me to draw your beautiful babies, one in heaven, two on earth.  Thank you for giving me more understanding of a grieving mother.  Thank you for sharing Violet with me.

You can read about the beginning of my journey with Violet here.

Find the music by Carla Bruni "Tout Le Monde" translation here