Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 63

I am about 40 hours into this drawing, give or take an hour.  Average time per day spent is 40 minutes.  I cleaned up Kendalyns leg, worked on the saddle and her dress.  I hope their smiling faces bring you some joy today.

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 62

Spent time on the carousel horse today.  Still more work to be done on the horse, hands, possibly the dress, Kendalyns knee, and then small adjustments.  I was only afforded 30 minutes of draw time today.  Thinking there won't be many more posts until the reveal of the completed portrait.  Joels days are numbered.

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 61

Rounding up details on the carousel background.  I have more work to do on Joels hands and the carousel horse.  Almost finished!


November 8, 2014 ·
Ok so I am able to pull us through our days by doing different things...going different places...eating at different restaurants....visiting places he didn't care for...but some things you do still have to be the same...and these are the times that hurt the most.  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 60

Doing detail work on the carousel horse.  Still more smoothing and toning to take care of before completion.  Averaging 40 minutes a day.  

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 59

In it to win it.  Still working it.  More work on background today, very pleased.  More work on the carousel horse needed.  They just look so happy.  The days are numbered for this portrait.

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 58

Making minor changes to background, so slight they probably aren't noticeable.  Happy the drawing is coming together so nicely.  Hoping to make his family fall in love.   The carousel horse needs more work, then not much more.  Pretty satisfied with Joel and Kendalyn and there won't be anymore major changes if any at all.

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 57

Moving along nicely, hoping to be finished soon.  Won't be many more posts to go.


October 16, 2014

Nails done ✔️
Grocery shopping ✔️
Make soup for work ✔️
Complete meltdown ✔️

TO DO LIST:
Pick self up...try again ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 56

Still working, finally back to it.  Making minor changes, smoothing pencil lines.  Won't be long now.






October 16, 2014

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 55

More smoothing of shading and more detail work.  One hour of work today.


October 16, 2014
Yep just one of those nights. ~Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 54

Still detailing, smoothing my pencil strokes and shading.  One hour today


October 14, 2014
I know I haven't posted any of these in awhile...I have been trying to keep us super busy. I have been trying to avoid the inevitable but I'm afraid I can feel the crash coming and well it just plain hurts.

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 53

Filling in the background.  40 minutes draw time.


October 2, 2014
Truth ~Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 52

Fine tuning things and making adjustments.  Averaging about 40 minutes of draw time a day.  I wanted to say a few things about Karens posts that I share here.  I don't share every single post she made over the last few years.  I share most everything she posts about Joel, but again not everything.  Some I feel are just too private.  I share the heartache and I want you to share in it too.  I want you to read her broken heart and understand that there are many moments in a day that are overwhelming for the grieving.

I want you to reach out to your friends and family, strangers too when you see them struggling or even on a good day.  I want you to offer condolences, ask if they need help with anything, take them a meal, offer to take their children for a few hours, or simply talk to them about their departed loved ones.   Just talk to them, find out what they need.  I think a lot of us don't fully grasp the magnitude of losing a loved one.  Until you actually suffer the heartbreak, we can't wrap our heads around it.  Step out, step up and support the grieving.  I have suffered loss.  This is why I draw our departed.  You are not forgotten in my eyes, you're loved ones have not faded away.  I see you, I send you love.  I do what I can do for you.


September 28, 2014
It is impossible to find all of the pieces of a broken heart
~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 51

Still working hard to finish up this drawing.  While this hasn't been my most challenging drawing, my circumstances in my environment have definitely been challenging.  Hoping to make this guy proud around his birthday this year.  Hoping for completion on his birthday but I may be a few days late due to lifes rollercoaster.  Loving him and missing his giant hugs and compassionate self.  I imagine his wife and daughter miss him with every breath they take, every day.  As I am sure it is hard to just breathe some days for them both.  Joels father also departed not long after Joel left us.  Joels mother is just the kindest and most gentle woman.  Sending them all a bundle of love today as we inch closer to Joels birth day.

September 26, 2014
At least once a day I still say to myself...."this can't be happening to me"  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 50

September 21, 2014
Kendalynn's "new" tattoo  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 49

September 18, 2014
Heavy hearted tonight...thinking of so many things. So many times...different memories...so many events that take you right back to that one moment in time. Thoughts and prayers go out to many tonight....on a side note had a nice talk with someone I've been waiting to hear from for awhile....💛missing him  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 48

Getting there with facial features, still working, still changing things.  Missing him.


September 13, 2014
That moment when you discover you haven't deleted your voicemail messages in over a year....and you get to hear that persons voice  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 47

Still making adjustments to faces.  Bringing up tones, doing hair, deepening tones, darkening eyes.  Need to feel satisfied with faces before I can move on.


September 9, 2014
Accomplished a few things on my own tonight with only some minor scratching and bruising...but most importantly...I did it!  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 46

Still making minor adjustments here and there.



September 4, 2014
~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 45

Still working, spent about 40 minutes today.  Turns out two years ago Karen was sharing this exact photo.  One of my favorites of Joel.  I feel that I still have a ways to go on bringing up tones and finishing up the background, I also see somethings I want to adjust.  I won't be adding all the detail you see in the background of this photo, I think it is too busy.  Things are normalizing for the most part in my world, making it easier to focus.


September 1, 2014
Anxiety is building...my baby is going to preschool tomorrow and it's not because she's getting older....it's because I feel like he should be here to see it...this is probably just the first of many life events that we will have to endure without him...without him by our side...without his smile, without his loving arms to give her a big hug and send her off on her first day of preschool....
~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 44

Worked for about 30 minutes today on the background.  I see more shading work to be done on Kendalyns face, still more to do, more to do.


August 29, 2014
Missing him....A LOT right now ❤ ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 43

Ventured out into the background today.  Bringing the carousel together.  Still averaging about 40 minutes a day.


August 27, 2014
Someone has caught on that I sleep in daddy's shirts and has asked me if she can too...
~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 42

Still working on tones.  Spent 40 minutes with them today.  They are showing so nicely.


August 21, 2014  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 41

Getting back into my groove, Worked on Joel today for about 40 minutes.  Sometimes you need a little push to get rolling again.  Seeing comments, photos, and being reminded that what I am doing is the bit of inspiration I need to keep the wheels turning.  I had put this drawing down for four months and had forgotten it is just what I needed.  My outlet is art, my connection is with the earth and beyond the sky.  Thanks for posting, commenting and sharing my art.  Keep on keeping on.


August 16, 2014
Hate that I can feel it coming...knowing there is nothing I can do to stop it... ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 40

Still darkening tones where needed.  Enjoyed my time with them today.




August 14, 2014

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 39

Spent about 45 minutes working on perfecting shadows on both Kendalyns and Joels face.  I still have a ways to go but I will be working on getting back to a more normal drawing routine.  This photo and the last are unfortunately a bit grainy looking.  I will be using my regular camera again for the next post.  I post sneak peek photos instantly on my instagram account @heady_dreadie before I upload them here a day later.


August 9, 2014 ~  Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 38

I admittedly worked on Joel and Kendalynn a few weeks ago but put it back down again.  Here is a bit more progress from a few weeks ago with more to come.  My mother-in-law suggested I blog about our moving adventures from Pennsylvania to Tennessee.  The move has affected me way more than I thought and getting back into drawing has been daunting since I barely feel like me some days.  So expect a blog post coming soon about selling a home, packing, moving and traveling out of state to a new home.  Also I worked today on the drawing some more and there will be another update scheduled for tomorrow.  It does feel really good to be drawing again but I still feel like I am transitioning.  I have been working hard at normalizing myself, I am mostly working inside myself as I may appear normal on the outside.  I also apologize if I haven't called, written or otherwise - I am still inside myself at the moment.  Happy to be back and doing some important work.  I feel happiest when I am doing for others.

August 8, 2014
My bad days might be really bad sometimes but I am finding that I come out of it stronger ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 37

Again spent time mostly on clothing, about 45 minutes to draw today.  Made some minor adjustments to faces, more still coming.


August 6, 2014
Just can't get it together today....  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 36

Worked for an hour today, concentrated mostly on clothing.  Shading, lightening, adjusting tones.




August 6, 2014
~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 35

I was able to get back to work on Joel and Kendalynn after a long unscheduled break.  I worked for about an hour on K's dress, arm and leg.  My husband recently lost his job in Pennsylvania.  Due to this development we will be relocating our family to Tennessee where part of my family resides.  I have weepy days and days I feel strong.  At first I decided to not work on my drawing but I am seeing that I need the drawing as much as it needs me.  Updates will be intermittent but hopefully continuing.  Love to all.


August 1, 2014
Ok so after some minor frustration and a few tears...I did it...all by myself...  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 34

Still bringing up tones, filling in background, tiny adjustments to faces, arms, carousel horse.  Only afforded 30ish minutes of drawing time today.


July 29, 2014
I hate every single minute of this...missing him ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 33

Worked for about 45 minutes mostly on bringing up tones here and there.





July 26, 2014
~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 32

I worked for an hour making a few small adjustments to Joels face, background and a bit of fixing on Kendalynns face.  The completion is in sight, planned to finish before Mothers Day.  It was always the plan but now it seems more final.  I have been contacted about a private commission for twin boys that will start after Joel is lovingly completed.  Each portrait is treated with the most care and patience possible all the way to the end.    I am grateful to be able to provide this love to families <3
I also have a commissioned family tree silhouette painting this week, and with the owners permission I will be sharing photos on my instagram @heady_dreadie.  Work may be intermittent on portraits for a minute here and there.

September 23, 2015

As people are waking I know that today is a normal day for them...but to us it is a special day, a day that makes us happy and sad all at once...today you would have been 37, and you would have woken up to pick on me to remind me that I turned 37 first...I don't know what hurts more missing you every day of our lives or knowing how much you miss us...in just 4 short days our daughter will turn 5...and you would have been so proud of the little girl she has become...she has my attitude of course but sometimes acts just like you. Oh the things that come out of her mouth...just ask Lee and Nicole...❤🎊🎉🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈 Happy Birthday in Heaven my love...  ~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 31

This photo has been sitting and waiting for me to post it for about 5 days.  Back to work, some times it is good to step away and take a little break.  When I come back I have a new perspective and see things I didn't see before.  I worked for about 45 minutes, mostly on the carousel horse and Joels arm.   I have been working hard on my home based business Sacred Batik and Dye.  I admit it had been eating up my time this past two weeks but I am working to balance everything out and the gears are turning more regularly now.


September 13, 2015

~ Karen

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Joel 30

I worked for an hour today.  Mostly on Kendalynns dress, a bit on her arm, her knee, and the background.

September 2, 2015

First day of her second year of preschool...and these days still break my heart over and over.... ~ Karen