I am happy to be back at it. One small doubt crept it's way in and made me take a step back. It's been brushed away so onward and upward from here. I can almost see the end in sight.
A few nights ago, I was just about to fall asleep and the smell of cigarette smoke wafted in my face. I dismissed it and then it happened again. I sat up, looked around sniffing the air. The smell was gone. I laid back down and fell asleep.
Last night as I was about to fall asleep I was reminded of when I was little and would spend the night at my Nan's house. My Nan and Pap slept in separate bedrooms and while my brother had his own room (my mothers old bedroom), I did not. I slept with my Nan in her bed. Her bedroom was an add-on to the house and you stepped down to enter the room. At night she would tuck me in her bed and sit in a chair at the end of the bed smoking her cigarettes. I remember watching the burning ash on the end of the cigarette glowing in the dark and smelling the smoke wafting in the air just before I would drift off to sleep.
I never knew my Nan was creative. She crocheted a lot and sewed a little bit, but I didn't know there was more. I didn't know where all my talent and creativity came from. I miss her but I know she is with me.
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