Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Dear Departed Drawings ~ Alice 14

Finally back at it again!  Lucia is complete and will be revealed soon!  I've been working on Alices fur and Vaydas hair the last few days.  There is an immense amount of detail in the bright sun on them both.  I look forward to getting back into a routine with drawing again.  As of late I've decided to only post my progress every two or three days rather than every day.  My intention (or resolution as you might call it) for 2015 was balance.  I am striving to balance my time equally with my husband, children, friends, tie dye, drawing, homesteading and housework.  (Note: Housework is last on the list)  I realized that an every day post while initially was great for getting me back on track with drawing, it is now time to thin out the work load by not making a daily post.  I will still draw daily or as routinely as possible, just not post on the blog every day.

Other things I've been up to includes healing my inner child.  Three months ago I attended a New Moon Circle at Alta View Wellness Center led by Angie (Lucias mother).  We crafted Native American medicine bundles to hold and help manifest our goals and dreams using herbs, crystals and totems under the new moon.  This sacred work tested me in ways I had not dreamed. Since I was 18 years old and realized there were some things I needed to change about myself, things I did not like and did not make me feel good about myself, I set out to make changes.  I went out and made discoveries about life and relationships.  Experienced new people and places.  Soaked in wisdom from all types of people, observed behaviors and mannerisms.  Then later in life, nine years ago, I spent two years in marriage counseling with my husband and started learning about my inner child or shadow warrior.  The voice that was getting increasingly louder since the day my husband and I married.  Four years ago my first child was born and my inner child was continually getting louder and becoming increasingly protective as time passed.  At the beginning of 2015 I attended a class and meditation about healing the inner child.  It was an amazing experience where I was able to find out at what age my inner child formed and began protecting itself.  For me it was at age five.  During the meditation I was able to disconnect from past hurts, connect with my loved ones who provided me comfort and even hug myself at five years old.  I felt the warmth and love radiate from the Virgin Mary and the journey to healing myself was well underway.  Then the New Moon Circle in March kicked off intense inner work.  I was faced with all this emotion I had pushed aside and deep down inside myself was now brimming and overflowing.  I traced all this back to old fears I had developed as a child.  I released at every new moon and full moon cycle for the next three months.  And even opened my medicine bag and added to my original intention.  During these past three months I have turned very much inward to look deep into my emotions to find the source, acknowledge, thank my inner child for protecting me and tell myself I got this.  While I will be faced with these situations again in the future, I can now react with more wisdom, clarity and patience.  Last night we released our medicine bundles in the New Moon Circle.  It felt sad and happy at the same time.  This little bundle full of my intentions, herbs and crystals I had carried with me every day, slept with under my pillow every night was now finished.  I couldn't have done this serious intense inner work without help from Angie (Lucias mother), my husband and my friend Gabi.

It is so amazing to be helped and healed by the same people I am healing with my drawings.  I can honestly say every single person I've drawn a portrait for has taught me important lessons, inspired me deeply in so many ways.  I am grateful for you.

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