Added more definition to Kendalynns face today, spent an hour working. Still a long ways to go but a friend told me I am on fire! And maybe I am. I missed Joels service that laid him to rest. I know it wasn't him laying in the funeral home, that he was already gone. There wasn't much room inside the place, standing room only and even that was full. We were late to the service with two little girls who would not nap and were cranky. I told my husband to go in without me and take our oldest. I sat outside on the steps with the baby and a friend outside with his baby too. I still feel like I missed him, missed saying goodbye, missed hearing all the kind words said about him, missed the beautiful, fragrant sprays of flowers. Little did I know I would hear him weeks later stomping around upstairs. I could never forget that moment, sounded like elephant walking around at 2am. I knew it was him so long ago.
Joel was on his way home late at night, his wife Karen was already waiting for him at home. They had driven separately and she beat him home. She waited, and waited, and waited. The road they lived on was in the process of being paved and was filled with loose gravel. Joels vehicle had slid on the gravel and met with a group of trees. He was gone instantly. Less than a mile from his home. A tragic and heartbreaking loss. Just minutes away from getting home safely.
This photo is the last photo taken of Joel, it was taken that night before the accident. Joel died in the wee hours of the morning on May 19, 2014. Just a week after mothers day and a week before Karens birthday. I have invited Karen to share her stories, thoughts, feelings about anything past or present here on the blog. I will also share more photos and sentiments from Karen as she has granted me permission to share. I can't promise you it won't be heart wrenching, but I can promise you it will be filled with love.
May 20, 2014
"To All: I am getting the messages and the kind words and seeing all of the great posts about my husband. I have not answered hardly a single one because I am just still so at a loss right now I can't believe this is happening. I lost my best friend...my other half...half of my heart...and the other half of my heart walks around outside my chest and is torn to shreds when she asks for her daddy who was her entire world. If you know us you know she'd rather him than me and now she's stuck with just me and it all seems so cruel and unfair. We love him so much and just don't know how to act or what happens from here. I am scared but do know that I am not alone and the messages and texts and phone calls do help even if I have not acknowledged a single one." ~Karen
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ReplyDeleteI was unable to go to the services.
Joel has been dear to me since we were young teens.
I met him through our friend Harley who has also passed. I was fortunate enough to spend time with both of them just weeks before their passing, even though it had been a long time before that. Looking back at both losses I see the truth in "no real coincidences"....We are put where we need to be when we need to be. Their deaths were years apart, just to clarify.
I love them both dearly, I always will and will forever hold them in my heart, they both had such a special place in my life and the journey I have been on.
So glad our paths crossed in so many places through the years.
I only know of Harley, my husband and Joel shared a connection with her. I have heard many stories about her. I believe in no coincidences as well and am sorry you too were unable to make Joels services. Funerals, memorials always have held such sacred space for me to say my goodbye, reflect and remember, send off and receive peace.
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